By Stan Ashbee
Sunny South News
On Friday, the local chapter of R.E.A.L. or the Rural Establishment of Artificial Lifeforms unveils their latest Franken-food creation. From being pseudo-born in a lab to being introduced to the southern Alberta ‘real’ world — chick-abbit will hit farms and local store shelves soon, as food and/or as a family pet.
Half chicken and half rabbit — this hybrid animal will have the best of both worlds. It’s front appendages indeed are chicken legs but its hind legs are that of a rabbit. The animal also has wings, a puffy cotton-like tail but the head of a chicken, not that of a cuddly wuddly little bunny. Hideous, some have said and an abomination but an interesting homegrown specimen, if you will.
Dr. Mitch Kalamari from the R.E.A.L Foundation said the chick-abbit has taken science a decade to perfect this brand new species to call southern Alberta home.
“Chick-abbit is indeed unique but the science represents mankind’s ability to create the next chapter in hybrid species. The chick-abbit is also asexual, meaning it can self-reproduce. But, there are warnings for those wanting to introduce this special hybrid animal into a family or to a farm. It mustn’t get wet and whatever you do, don’t feed it after midnight,” Kalamari noted.
The price for this hybrid animal will be astronomical at its launch but because of supply and demand the price will go down, no doubt, Kalamari explained. The doctor said there are only a limited number of chick-abbits available for sale at its unveiling this Friday and orders will be taken for future batches/litters.
The Sunny South News attempted to secure a photo of the creation but the chick-abbit is off limits to media and the public until Friday morning.
“The world will be astounded by this animal. Truly fascinating, it is. It’s use will be a plethora of uses but I can’t seem to think of any at this time. But, fast food chicken outlets will want this animal for a new menu item too. Deep fried chick-abbit will be the new fried fast food sensation. A bucket full of chicken wings, legs and rabbit feet. Who wouldn’t want that?” said Kalamari. “Aren’t rabbit feet supposed to be good luck?”
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